Wednesday, August 18, 2010

How to Beat Red Light Cameras

Here's the secret the government doesn't want you to know.

I discovered a mathematical pattern in the red light traffic cameras in NY, and have developed a fool-proof system to never get busted by one. You see, the programmers rely on an antiquated color coded algorithm to determine signal phases and changes.   Here are the steps to beating the system. with a little practice, this is a guarantee to never get a ticket from a red light camera.

1. On approach, note the color of the light. if it is green, we can call that stale green, and you should be prepared for a change to yellow.

2. The secret is in the yellow lights- You see, they try to trick you, because every light is timed differently. This is where you will need to balance math with driving skill to time it just perfectly. Based on your cars current velocity, divide this by the distance from the intersection that you are approaching to figure out an approximate stopping distance or if acceleration must be applied.

of course I am being sarcastic. Red light cameras are revenue generators because they bust people who blow red lights. Don't do the crime if you cant handle the fine. Now stop bitching about government conspiracies, and stop at a red light like everyone else.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Rules of the Road #1

I am starting a new series today. I call it "Rules of the Road". These are suggestions that everyday people can follow to avoid automotive embarrassment or not be complete jerk-offs to other drivers. I was inspired to write this series due to all of the annoyances and automotive atrocities I see everyday on the road -  there are just so many to list in one post, so here goes with #1.

Rule of the Road #1

"Under no circumstances it is acceptable to put rims on a minivan. I don't care if they are 15's or Dubs, only stock wheels are acceptable."

Broken down: 96 Altima, 92 Civic

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

C&D Mag Crusades to Save the Manuals

let me hit you with 2 facts. 1. only 6% of cars out there have a manual transmission in America. 2. once you drive a stick, its hard to go to an automatic.

Sticks are for enthusiasts, and those who want control. Even the lowest HP Civic feels like it has some cojones with a 5 speed. But th bottom line is, they are a lot of fun. Execxtuing a perfect down-shift and then accelerating in apex using 2 hands and both feet is an exhilarating feeling, and is what turns a vehicle operator into a "driver". But there are other benefits too - the improved MPG, the fact that you have to pay attention to the road, lower repair costs, and I am sure there are more. I  have owned one slushbox in my life, but in my defense, my leftcalf was roughly twice the size of my right after working the clutch in CBX traffic everyday. Also, the car I wanted didn't have an optional transmission. just CVT or nothing. Now i am stuck with a tranny that wants to fake gears when I slap it into manual mode, but does a pretty piss poor job matching revs. Mark my words, i will never buy another auto again.

But we have to give a shout-out to Car and Driver Magazine. they are now forming a campaign to save the manual transmission and hopefully get the attention of automakers.  It is worth checking out and supporting, become a facebook friend, and add some comments. whether you support the bowtie or the blue oval, 4 rings or a roundel, this is something we can all agree on.!-car_and_driver